I'm Not Ready

Me:  Could it be possible that I have a problem with alcohol?  I'm certainly not an alcoholic.  I just sometimes abuse alcohol when I'm stressed out and need to relax and take it down a notch. 

My therapist:  That makse sense.  Your not an alcoholic, you're an alcohol abuser.  There's a big difference.

Me:  Yeah, I agree.  I'm okay.  I'm not an alcoholic.  This is just a temporary issue.  Once I get my job stress under control, I'll drink less and not need it so much anymore. 

My therapist:  Yes, let's talk about your job.... 

At first glance, this conversation doesn't look like much.  Maybe even counterproductive.  But, I want to thank this therapist immensely.  She helped me inch forward in my denial toward the possibility that I abused alcohol without making me run and scream in the other direction by calling me an alcoholoc. 

This was a year or more ago now.  I just admitted I'm an alcoholic a couple weeks ago.  I have enough proof now after the last 18 years. 

Thanks also to Denise Linn for taking me through her 28 week soul coaching/clutter clearing program which taught me that the soul loves the truth.  During this program I started asking my soul if there was anything I needed to know.  My soul was very quiet and was just barely whispering to me even after the 28 weeks when I was playing around on Facebook and saw a post from my friend David Essel and watched his video:  http://www.youtube.com/user/SuperSlowDown#p/u/29/p-0S6mfQ5Sw

The whisper said, no I'm not ready but send an email anyways and share the fact that you're not ready but that you liked the video. 

This was two weeks ago.  I wasn't ready but I reached out and my life changed trajectory in ways I could not have imagined.  I've experienced living a lifetime in just a day, in just a moment of being fully present.